Another Year Begins

2009!!! How did you get here so quickly? Today I am at Asbury Seminary with Jimmy Usher on a retreat. I find that the word retreat is an interesting word. A word that means to fall back, to regroup. As Joanne and I finish our 7th year at CrossRoads I find myself wanting to regroup. I want to be clear on the direction of my life and the life of CrossRoads. I mean I know that I can't predict the future, but I want to be sure that I am headed in the right direction. I want to make sure that I am not a "hireling" but an "owner". An owner of what I say I believe, not someone who goes along with what others say they believe. I want to know what I believe.

2009 has so many uncertainties attached to it, an yet isn't that the way that all life is? I know that my thoughts are rambling, but I just have questions and I am searching. This past year has made me question some things I thought were stable/solid only to find out that sometimes what appears to be real can many time be an illusion. I see the lives of people around me, people I love changing. Please understand that I know change can be good and that change is healthy and inevitable, but some of the change is unnecessary and can and will bring pain that could be avoided. Why do we say we don't like pain and then do things that cause so much pain? 

Sometimes when you are playing a sport, whatever the sport may be, you lose the passion, the desire, the drive to keep playing or you just can't understand why you aren't succeeding the way you use to or want to now. When this happens it is time to retreat.  You have to stop and ask why did I begin to start playing in the first place? The answer: because it was fun, because I would spend time with those who were close to me, because I wanted to become better and help others enjoy the game, I just wanted to learn the basics of the game.  You have to find your center again.

2009 is my year of retreat, my year to step back and find my center again, to remember why I love this game so much, to redefine my skills, to pass on the knowledge of the game to the next generation, to find my center again, to allow the compass of my soul to direct me.

My favorite movie of all time is Mr. Holland's Opus. As he said in the movie, "I never signed up for this gig, but I love it." This year I don't want to star in my own movie, but to be a supporting cast member in the movies around me. Maybe this year is the year that I become more Coach and less player. May this year be filled with reflection, redirection, re dedication, renewal, retreating and revival.